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    October 05

    我在想念一个人。一直。可我,是真的想忘记。真的。想念,万劫不复。忘记,似乎可以重新开始。我真的记不起那些人的脸。可,却依旧坚守着想念。那些承载我破败青春的人。对不起,我想念你。对不起,我将试着忘记你。对不起,我一直记得爱过你。对不起,你快乐吗。对不起,过去了。 ————————有关阿峰、他是我的朋友。他的名字是阿峰。他喜欢小谢。喜欢看电影,听歌。写作。他缜于沉默。习惯与爬上天台坐一天。下晚自习在楼下站着而不回家。喜欢很多美丽而可爱的女孩。看着她们笑,就傻傻的感觉很幸福。他只想和他心爱的人开一个小店。平平淡淡的过。做一辈子的幸福小男人。仅此而已。 而,在二00六年六月十九日凌晨。我抽完最后一支烟。上了火车。去看他。 自始至终,我没有眼泪。 可我终究在某一天,某个地方。抽完烟。笑着笑着泪留满面。 于是,我发现我是很想念阿峰。只是,我一直不敢承认他的离开。 二00五年六月三十日之后,某一天晚上。我发短信给阿峰说:阿峰,我哭了,停不下来,太累了。怎么办。 阿峰说:没事,什么事都没有。有我在呢。 之后,我抱着手机哭累了。睡了。 第二天,看见阿峰短信:好好睡觉。 二00五年的事太多。美好而残忍。我无法提及。无法确定。阿峰帮我挺过来的。 二00六年。我开始学着不会无故的哭。不抽很多的烟。不再吃药帮助睡眠。不再拒避。笑着和别人交谈。我想我好了。 0五年寒假的时候,看见阿峰。他喝着柠檬茶,我捧着酸奶杯子和他说:我现在很好。真的很好。 可我又在做梦的时候哭了。可我不能和阿峰说了。更长时间的静默。无语。我和很多人说笑。但我怎么就那么拒闭。高兴随之而来的是厌恶。 只想找个地方不停的看电影。看书。做我自己喜欢的事。

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